Psoas Love

photoIn my experiential anatomy classes, I often ask students to write a love letter to an orphaned or neglected part of their body. The purpose is to shift the relationship into one of appreciation and joy. Because that’s where the magic happens……

Here is a recent letter of my own, as I continue my personal journey of deep listening.

Beloved Psoas,

We’ve been together for a long time. I thought I knew you, but now I realize I was just scratching the surface. I see you with new eyes, I listen to you with new ears and I feel you in new ways. You are teaching me so much.

You have been very patient with me. Thank you for being there and never giving up on me.

I thought you were all about strength and core stability. I have flexed you and stretched you in oh so many ways, always looking for an optimal balance of strength and freedom. Now I am learning about how to release you. Time to let go.

You are my tenderloin, my filet mignon, my Chateaubriand. This is a most succulent cut of meat: it is juicy and delicious. I humbly apologize for misunderstanding you. I have spent years toughening you up and overworking you. I am truly sorry. Please forgive me.

I have inadvertently saddled you with a lot of tensions. I didn’t know any better. I’ve held you tight during lunges and backbends, and I’ve stuffed anger and fear into your fibers in an effort to armour myself against emotional and psychological attack. Thank you for shielding me and holding me together while I worked things out.

I see that a new level of intimacy is called for, and it’s time for me to take loving care of you. I am grateful for the inspirations and resources that are presenting themselves to open the way.  Over the last few days I have been introduced to the concept that your nature is to be soft and quiet. Some people call you the “muscle of the soul”. How beautiful is that! It speaks to your wisdom and power, and to a new paradigm.  As I take a few baby steps towards understanding you better, and allow you time and space to soften, you reward me with such generosity. You gift me with a sensation of quiet, juicy spaciousness in my groins and deep abdomen. Tending your softness, I explore ways to move my thighs without disturbing my pelvis and lumbar spine. It feels so free! When I stand up, my legs feel like long ribbons that pour down from above. My quads feel longer and I feel sleeker. Walking feels fluid. My breath and mind are peaceful. I want to feel this way all the time.

I confess to feeling a little nervous about all of this too. I’m scared of losing our newfound sweetness together, and of falling back into old habits. One change sets off a cascade of other shifts and adjustments….what will the future hold? I already feel stirrings of connections to old holding patterns in my back just behind you, and I am noticing how different you are on the left and right sides. I’m excited to hear what my organs and nerves will have to say about all of this.

I sense we are embarking on a long, deep journey together. I’m sorry that it’s taken me this long to find you. Please forgive me for the pain I’ve caused. Thanks for keeping me safe all these years. I love you and bless you.

yours in Love,
Karusia

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